I really do care about your feelings and I feel horrible for any offensive thing I have said, written, or posted in my sad attempt to entertain others to help us forget about our miserable lives.
So please, please fill out the for below so we can assess the damage of your fragile feelings to better help me, Chris, the Mole Man be a better person.
I will get back to you as soon as humanly possible.
Chris The Mole Man
Please accept or deepest appologies for violating your fragile feelings and may you find some comfort in this time of hurt.